As the saying goes, 'Many hands make light work.' Teamwork plays an important role in our daily life.（段评：本段引用谚语自然引出团队合作的主题,作为记叙文开头简洁明了。但句式较为简单,可适当增加细节描写,让开头更生动。修改版：As the saying goes,'Many hands make light work.' Teamwork is like a superpower that makes difficult tasks seem easy,and it plays a crucial role in our daily life.）
Last term, Liz, Anne and I entered a science com-petition (改：competition) . Our task was to creat (改：create) a poster board with information about spaceships. At first, we didn't know what to do. But after discussion, each of us got a job we were good at. Liz and Anne went to the library to look for more information, while I was responsible for seaching (改：searching) for the pictures we needed on the In-ternet (改：Internet) . Then we organized the information and pictures we wanted to put on the board. Finally, we won second prize.（段评：本段详细描述了科学竞赛的经历,内容充实具体。但存在拼写和语法错误:1. 单词拼写错误:'com-petition'应改为'competition','creat'应改为'create','seaching'应改为'searching','In-ternet'应改为'Internet'；2. 表达问题:'we didn't know what to do'可改为'we were feeling a bit lost',更生动地表达困惑；3. 句式变化:可增加复合句使段落表达更丰富。修改版：Last term,Liz,Anne and I entered a science competition. Our task was to create a poster board with information about spaceships. At first,we were feeling a bit lost and didn't know where to start. But after a thoughtful discussion,each of us was assigned a job that matched our strengths. While Liz and Anne went to the library to look for more detailed information,I was responsible for searching for relevant pictures on the Internet. Then we worked together to organize the materials we wanted to put on the board. Finally,our hard work paid off when we won second prize.）
When working as a team, we learned how to collaborate with each other. We listened to each other carefully and expressed our ideas confidently.（段评：本段总结了团队合作的收获,点明了主题。但表达较为平淡,可增加具体的场景描写,让感悟更真实。修改版：Working as a team taught us the true meaning of collaboration. We learned to listen carefully to each other's ideas and express our own confidently. When someone faced difficulties,the others would always step in to help,creating a supportive and encouraging atmosphere.）
你的这篇题为《team work》的记叙文，围绕“团队合作”展开了一次科学竞赛的经历，故事完整且紧扣主题，字里行间能感受到你对团队协作的理解——这对于初中生来说，是一篇内容真实、情感真挚的良好作品。尤其是开头引用谚语点题，结尾自然升华主题，体现了你清晰的写作思路；中间通过具体分工（查资料、找图片、整理内容）展现团队合作的过程，也让“合作”的主题有了实际支撑，值得肯定！不过若想让文章更生动、更贴合英语记叙文的表达习惯，还可以关注以下几个关键细节：
1. 内容方面的不足：细节描写稍显单薄，情感与场景感不够突出
原文完整讲述了竞赛的“流程”，但缺乏能体现团队合作“温度”的细节。比如讨论分工时大家的表情、查资料遇到困难时的互动、获奖后的反应等，这些细节能让“团队合作”的主题更有感染力。
修改建议：可在“At first, we didn’t know what to do. But after discussion…”后补充：“Liz bit her lip and said, ‘I love reading science books—maybe I can find space facts in the library!’ Anne nodded quickly, ‘I’m good at taking notes, so I’ll go with her!’ Then they turned to me, and I smiled: ‘I can search for high-quality spaceship pictures online!’” 这样的细节能让分工的过程更生动，也能体现团队成员的默契。
2. 语言方面的不足：存在少量拼写与用词错误，表达稍显简单
- 拼写错误：“creat”（应改为“create”）、“seaching”（应改为“searching”）、“In-ternet”（连字符多余，改为“Internet”）；
- 用词稍显平淡：“plays an important role”“good at”等表达比较基础，可适当替换以丰富语言；
- 中式表达痕迹：“we wanted to put on the board”稍显生硬，可调整为更自然的英语表达。
修改建议：
① 修正拼写错误（直接调整单词即可）；
② 将“plays an important role”改为“is of great importance”；“we were good at”改为“we excelled in”；
③ 将“we organized the information and pictures we wanted to put on the board”改为“we sorted out the information and pictures and arranged them neatly on the board”（“sorted out”“arranged them neatly”更符合英语中“整理并排版”的场景）。
3. 组织结构方面的不足：段落过渡较自然，但结尾升华可以更具体
文章开头、中间、结尾的结构清晰，但结尾“we learned how to collaborate…”稍显笼统，若能结合竞赛中的具体事件升华，会让主题更深刻。
修改建议：将结尾句改为：“When working as a team, we learned that collaboration isn’t just about dividing tasks—it’s about listening to each other and supporting one another. When I couldn’t find a clear picture of a rocket, Anne shared her notebook with me to help me understand the details. That’s the magic of teamwork!” 这样结合具体小事升华，能让“学到的道理”更真实可感。
总体而言，你的文章已经搭建了很好的框架，只要补充细节、修正小错误、让语言更生动，就能让“团队合作”的故事更有画面感。继续加油，你笔下的故事一定会越来越精彩！
