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感恩的人
作者:陈柳荣| 指导老师:杨静

I want to say thank you to help (改:for helping) me. It's hard to study maths. But you often gives encourage (改:give encouragement) . I felt (改:feel) confident to study maths. I want to pass on kindness. I want to be a teacher like you help (改:like you to help) more people. Now, I often help my classmate (改:classmates) . In fact, you often care me (改:care about me) . I felt (改:feel) warm. You is (改:are) a good teather (改:teacher) !段评:这段文字表达了对老师的感激之情,情感真挚,主题明确!但存在一些语法和表达问题:1. 主谓不一致:'you often gives encourage'中'gives'应改为'give','You is a good teather'中'is'应改为'are';2. 时态误用:'I felt confident'和'I felt warm'描述现在的感受,应改为一般现在时'I feel';3. 句式问题:'to help me'应改为'to you for helping me','help more people'前应加'to';4. 词汇问题:'encourage'是动词,应改为名词'encouragement','teather'拼写错误应改为'teacher'。修改版在保持原意的基础上,修正了语法错误,使用了更准确的词汇和句式,增加了逻辑连接词,使表达更流畅自然。修改版:I want to say thank you to you for helping me. It's hard to study maths,but you often give me encouragement. Now I feel confident to study maths. I want to pass on your kindness. I want to be a teacher like you to help more people. Now,I often help my classmates. In fact,you always care about me,and I feel warm. You are a good teacher!

综合评价:

陈柳荣同学,你好!
你的文章围绕"感恩的人"展开,用具体的小事(如老师鼓励学数学、关心自己)表达对老师的感谢,还提到要传递善意帮助同学,情感真挚,主题很明确,能感受到你对老师的心意,这点非常棒!

从语言表达来看,有几个小细节可以调整得更规范哦:

  1. 主谓一致:"gives encourage"→"give encouragement"("you"后用动词原形,"encourage"是动词,这里需要名词"encouragement");"You is"→"You are"。
  2. 介词搭配:"help me"→"those who help me"(原句缺少主语);"care me"→"care about me"。
  3. 句式连贯:"be a teacher like you help more people"→"be a teacher like you to help more people"(用不定式表目的)。

如果能加一个具体的小场景,比如老师鼓励你的某一个瞬间("记得上次数学考试不及格,你把我叫到办公室,耐心给我讲题,还说'你很聪明,只是需要多练习'"),文章会更生动,情感也更饱满~

继续加油,你的文字里藏着满满的温暖,相信下次会写得更棒!

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作文:感恩的人 | 跳跳龙 AI