Dear Peter,

I'm glad to receive your letter asking for my advice on how to learn Chinese Well (改：well) .（段评：这一段看起来不太符合小学记叙文的要求哦。咱们这次写的是记叙文,得有故事情节呢,可这里像是在写书信里给别人提建议。而且语言表达上,用的是英语,和记叙文的中文写作风格不搭。你可以写一件和学中文有关的具体事儿,比如自己学中文遇到的困难和解决办法。 修改版:有一次我学中文写生字,“美”字总是写不好。我就天天对着字帖练,还让妈妈帮我在旁边指导,慢慢地我就能把这个字写得工工整整啦。）

Here are a few suggestions. First, it is important to take a Chinese course, as you'll have the chance to learn form (改：learn from) the teacher and practice with your fellow students. Second, it is also helpful to watch Tv (改：TV) , or read novels, newspapers and magazines in Chinese whenever possible. Third, it would be a good idea to learn and sing Chinese songs, because by doing so you'll learn and remember Chinese words more easily. Last but not least, you can also make more Chinese friends. They will tell you a lot about China and help you learn Chinese.（段评：这一段同样不符合小学记叙文的特点,没有故事情节,更像是书信中提建议的内容。结构上没有按照记叙文的顺序来,语言也是英语。你可以写一个完整的学中文的故事,比如参加中文朗诵比赛的经历。 修改版:学校举办中文朗诵比赛,我特别想参加。一开始我读得磕磕巴巴,发音也不准。我就每天早起读课文,还跟着广播里的播音员学发音。比赛那天,我鼓起勇气上台,顺利地朗诵完了,还得了奖呢。）

I hope my suggestions will offer you some help.（段评：这段还是不符合记叙文的要求,像是书信结尾,没有故事情节。你可以在记叙文结尾把故事的感受写出来,让主题更明确。 修改版:通过这次朗诵比赛,我明白了只要努力学中文,就一定能有进步,我以后会更爱学中文的。）