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作者:陈文燕

上周末,你参加了学校文化艺术节的'Amazing Heritage Sites”的主活动。请你写一篇报稿到学校英文报,内容包括:

1.活动过程;

2.收获和感想。

注意:

1.写作词数应为80个左右;

2.可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。

In order to provide the students with a colorful school life, our school held 'Amazing Heritage Sites' activity (改:held the 'Amazing Heritage Sites' activity) last weekend.段评:开头简洁明了,点明了活动的目的和时间。但缺少冠词,“held 'Amazing Heritage Sites' activity”应改为“held the 'Amazing Heritage Sites' activity”,因为特指学校举办的这个活动。修改版:In order to provide students with a colorful school life,our school held the 'Amazing Heritage Sites' activity last weekend.

During the activity, we watched films about different heritages, such as Great Wall (改:the Great Wall) and The Forbidden City. Then we learn (改:learned) history about them. This activity not only raises (改:raised) our awareness of heritages protection (改:heritage protection) but also promotes (改:promoted) the spread of Chinese culture.段评:活动过程描述清晰,收获部分点明了活动意义。但存在两个问题:1. 时态误用,“we learn history”应改为“we learned history”,与前文“watched”保持时态一致;2. 冠词缺失,“Great Wall”前需加定冠词“the”,即“the Great Wall”。修改版:During the activity,we watched films about different heritages,such as the Great Wall and the Forbidden City. Then we learned about their history. This activity not only raised our awareness of heritage protection but also promoted the spread of Chinese culture.

It turned out to be a truly inspiring event!段评:结尾简洁有力,总结了活动的积极影响。无需修改。修改版:It turned out to be a truly inspiring event!

综合评价:
陈文燕同学,你好!你写的校园文化艺术节报道很有意义,紧扣"Amazing Heritage Sites"主题,清晰传达了活动的价值,整体完成度不错。
文章开头点明活动目的,中间描述了看电影、学历史的过程,结尾总结收获,结构完整。尤其最后用"truly inspiring event"收尾,情感表达很自然。不过有几处可以优化:时态方面,"Then we learn history"应改为"Then we learned history",和前文过去时态保持一致;"Great Wall"前要加定冠词"the",即"the Great Wall";"heritages protection"改为"heritage protection"更规范。
建议增加一点活动中的细节,比如"Some students shared interesting stories about the Forbidden City",能让报道更生动。继续保持对校园活动的观察,多积累细节描写,你的文章会更出彩!
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